Don't let me go
by DorkDamsel
Summary: "Aya, I'm... touched, but I'd really like to be able to breathe now" "Why is everybody calling me that?" she asked and cupped his face. Razer practically flinched, unused to the android being so familiar. "Razer... it's me. It's Ilana..."
1. Watch my back

**Timeline:** Takes place right after Prisoner of Sinestro but before Loss.

**Disclaimer:** Sometimes I borrow these characters but I never pimp them out.

**Full disclosure:** English is not my first language, in case things "sound" strange.

* * *

"Sooo... Razer... what's up?"

The Red Lantern groaned loudly and rolled his eyes at the human's infuriating attempt to make small talk. If there was anything he truly hated about Hal Jordan, it was his manic obsession with making friends with everybody.

"How is everything? You know we've hardly had a chance to talk since you rejoined the crew"

"A decision I regret more and more with every passing second" Razer grumbled, making his way through the dark and dank tunnel.

They had just landed on a jungle planet that supposedly held another lost Manhunter cache. They made their way through the foliage, using their rings to clear a path, until finally they found the abandoned building complex. Aya lead the group inside using her sensors to track the Manhunter homing signals. Razer and Hal formed the centre of the party, with Kilowog guarding their backs.

"Ah come on. We have some fun together"

Razer chose not to dignify that remark with an answer. He merely glared from the corner of his eye.

'Uh, side-glare. One of your more exotic choices" Jordan commented.

Razer simply huffed and turned his eyes forward, hoping the human will take the hint to stop talking.

"So listen, I wanted to ask you. You do have hormones right?"

Razer full-on stared at the human, completely stupefied by the question. His attention distracted, he stumbled on a protruding boulder and nearly fell on his face.

"Easy there slugger"

"Jordan... I'm sorry, but you are so not my type it's not even amusing" Razer said trying to regain his dignity.

"Ha, funny. I'm just checking because you know, your physiology is weird to say the least... and I don't really know how your uhm... things work. Maybe you don't even have a... lantern in your pants so to speak"

"Please stop talking!" Razer pleaded.

"I just want to check I didn't give Aya any false information"

"Aya? What are you talking about?"

"Well... during that whole Neuroxis episode she was really stumped because you were acting friendly towards her so I gave her the whole shpiel about boys and hormones"

"That wasn't me!" Razer said slightly more panicked than would be dignified.

"I know, I know. But still... if you do have them and if they you know... make you so inclined as to act in a certain way around Aya..."

"I have no idea what you are talking about. We are just friends" Razer quickly cut off the human.

Hal threw Razer his best "_yeah right_" look, evident even through his mask, especially from the way he was pursing his lips.

"And back on Odym you went into god-rage-mode because you saw your friend being hurt. I suppose you would've reacted the same way if it was me or Kilowog being zapped by a Manhunter"

Razer chose not to answer that. Because he didn't know if he was that good of a liar as to answer yes and get away with it.

"And when you saved Aya on Oa you used what... the _friendship_ transport?"

Razer opened his mouth ready to protest but then quickly snapped it shut. There was no way he was debating his way out of that one. He was definitely not that good of a liar. So he resolved to not feed the troll that was Hal Jordan and ignore him until they reached the Manhunters. They walked in silence for a few minutes until Hal finally spoke up:

"Okey, I did not want to do this, but you leave me no choice. I'm going to have to resort to... feelings"

Razer threw Hal an exasperated look, as if to say "are you completely daft?". The human however surprised him when he turned completely serious.

"Carol broke up with me" he whispered staring into the ground, his voice sounding strained and ready to crack.

Razer was surprised by the confession but empathized with the human in spite of himself.

"I'm... sorry to hear that"

"Yeah... I don't blame her, you know. It's this life. It was too much for her. Waiting for me for months, not knowing if I'll come back at all. I mean who wants to live like that?"

Hal remained quiet for a while, still trapped in his own hurt over the separation.

"Don't get me wrong. I love what I do, what we do. Fighting bad guys, saving the galaxy. I love the hero shtick, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I'd be lying if I said I don't love her, and I don't want her to be there for me when I need her. Because if I were completely honest, I think I deserve it. I'm a decent guy, right? I mean, I beat down Atrocitus... I'm fighting Manhunters... I'm saving the universe! Can't I have this one thing? This one person?"

"You can't?"

"No, I can't. Because it's not fair towards her. I can't ask that of her, you know. I can't ask her to give up her life on Earth to wait around for me, until one day I show up in a coffin after she wasted her best years looking at the stars instead of... living. If I were in her place, as awesome as I am, I'd dump me too"

Razer realised that he'd never seen Hal Jordan look quite so... powerless. He always seemed so sure of himself. Razer still wasn't sure how the human's romantic woes had anything to do with him. Jordan quickly cleared that up.

"The point is if you find somebody that you care about and that cares about you and it's somebody who can share in every aspect of your life... then you can't afford to waste that opportunity. You and Aya... you've got this thing, and I've noticed it for a while. Maybe I'm a big ol' softy, maybe what happened between me and Carol has destroyed what little sanity I had left... but I want you two to work it out. I want you to beat the odds."

"Jordan, I don't think..."

"She's going to get curious about this stuff eventually", Jordan quickly interjected. "And I'd be more comfortable if I knew she's with you"

"You would!?" Razer asked flabbergasted.

"You're a good kid. Scratch that, you're a good _man_. Yeah, you have a temper and you smell funny, but when push comes to shove I know you would risk life and limb for the people that you care about. I know you would die before letting any harm come to her"

"What do you mean I smell funny?" Razer asked, trying to ignore the good mood that was threatening to take him over.

"What I'm trying to get at is... you have my _respect_. Now you have my blessing"

"And the sergeant feels the same way you do?" Razer asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well, maybe not exactly the same way... But in some ways he's an even bigger softy than I am. Don't worry about Kilowog. I'll handle him."

"Well, that is a very generous offer Hal Jordan, and I appreciate your... input on the matter. The answer is yes, by the way"

"Yes, you'll pursue these feelings?"

"Yes, I have hormones."

Hal Jordan howled with laughter and then slapped Razer on the back.

"Fine, I'll take that as a hint to close the subject... I'll just say this. You can't use me or Kilowog as an excuse to be a lazy ass any more. There's nothing in your way now. Nothing", Hal said determined and considered he said his piece and now it was simply up to the kid.

Razer knew that Hal had all the best intentions, but at the same time he felt the human clearly was underestimating how complicated the situation was. Of course, he didn't know the whole story... He spotted Aya's boosters through the fog and the dust, the android hovering in front of them as they made their way through the tunnel. Razer stared at the glow pensively, while Hal's words were ringing in his ears:

_There's nothing in your way._

"Green Lantern Hal Jordan I have discovered the Manhunter remains" Aya shouted back at them.

"Remains?" Hal asked puzzled and increased the pace.

The tunnel lead to an altar room similar to the ones they had already seen. The Manhunters had been removed from their resting places where they sat lodged in the walls. Their feet remained there, while the rest of them were scattered around the floor of the hall. Bits and pieces of armor, cables, scraps and shards of metal formed an ocean of electronic debris.

"Looks like it was an all you can eat Manhunter buffet" Hal remarked.

All of the members of the party picked up remnants for inspection. Kilowog finally caught up with them and looked around shocked.

"What the frack happened here?" he asked astounded."Who did this? Can we get them on our side!?"

"I don't think so big guy, look at these crude cutting methods. These guys weren't professionals, they were just really determined. Who does that remind you of?"

Kilowog thought for a second and then his huge mouth snapped open when he realised wha they were dealing with.

"Space pirates!? Here?! Gotta hand it to the poozers, they got guts taking apart Manhunters when the crummy things are invading the galaxy"

"Lanterns, may I direct your attention to this Manhunter helmet component" Aya said holding up a medium-sized shard of metal.

"What is it Aya?" Hal asked.

"It is 30% hotter than standard room temperature in this area"

"What does that mean?" Kilowog asked puzzled.

"It means it is still warm" Hal replied and felt a shiver run down his back.

Right on cue, six space pirates riding hoverbikes barrelled into the room and separated to face the Lanterns. Kilowog and Hal adopted defensive stances and raised shields against the space pirates crude but effective laser-weaponry. Razer and Aya launched themselves into the air, with two of the attackers going after them, attempting to separate them.

"Hey, we don't want any trouble" Hal shouted over the sound of laser-blasts being fired and smashing into his hardlight-shield, dissipating.

"We just came here for the Manhunters, just surrender what you scavenged from them and we'll leave you alone. No hard feelings"

The pirates ran circles around Kilowog and Hal Jordan. The bolovaxian extended his own forcefield which came to include Hal's own defensive projections. The dome-like hardlight manifestation was spreading out, with the two Green Lanterns in the center, slowly pushing the pirates further and further away. The attackers were still firing their laser-guns at the dome, their salvas just dissipating into the green light.

The dome brusquely expanded, and knocked over three of the bikes and their riders. Razer made short work of the two following him, just by targeting the drivers with a couple of short blasts. Those bikes were maneuverable, but not necessary fast, especially since they were cobbled together from all sorts of stolen parts. Razer and Aya came back down and next to their friends, who were staring down the last space pirate still mounted on his hoverbike.

"Now will you listen to me?" Hal asked rather politely.

"Listen to this" the helmeted dark figure said and dropped a device on the ground.

The device looked like an improvised grenade. The group quickly sheltered themselves with shields. Their measures of protection were however useless against a sonic bomb. The subsonic waves hit them at full force, and every organic not wearing protection felt like their brains had just been turned into pain-flavored jello. Kilowog, Hal Jordan and Razer clutched their ears in agony and then crashed to the ground.

Aya was not affected by the sonic blast and moved to capture the last space pirate when he raised a lance-like weapon and shot an energy net at her. His ears ringing painfully, Razer watched Aya fall down, her body twitching uncontrollably. Her safety was the last thing on his mind before losing consciousness.

He was the last one to came to. He had no idea how much time had passed, but the space pirates were gone. He got up slowly, still slightly dazed, his ears ringing but at least he could hear. There was some commotion behind him. When he turned around, Razer saw Kilowog and Hal Jordan with out-stretched arms approaching Aya slowly, the robot cowering in a corner. Aya for some reason looked terrified, but what would terrify her about Hal Jordan and KIlowog?

"What is going on?" Razer said making his way towards the group.

"Razer!" Aya shouted excitedly.

She ran up to him and hugged him tightly. Razer was shocked at the display of affection. He tentatively hugged her back, but soon found himself lacking air since Aya's robot strength was more than enough to crush his sternum.

"Aya, I'm... touched, but I'd really like to be able to breathe now"

She eased her grip and looked up at him. The enthusiasm from earlier disappeared from her features. Her eyes were teary and her lips trembled. This was not like Aya at all.

"Why is everybody calling me that?" she asked and cupped his face. Razer practically flinched, unused to the android being so familiar.

"Razer... it's me. It's _Ilana..."_

* * *

**AN:** I'm really crap at titles.


	2. Yesterday, the night before, tomorrow

"What. The. Hell. Just. Happened?" Hal asked stressing every word.

The three Lanterns were standing on the Interceptor's command bridge. They'd managed to barely drag Aya, or rather the AI formerly known as Aya, with them from the temple. She was now waiting in the conference room while they reconvened on the command deck to try and figure out what to do.

"Razer, care to let me and Kilowog in on what is going on?"

"I wish I could tell you Hal Jordan" Razer said with his eyes fixed somewhere beyond the interceptor's view screen. He was recalling how difficult those first exchanges were back at the temple.

"_That is a very sick joke, Aya" he growled grabbing her arms_

"_Joke!? What are you talking about? Don't you recognise me? Razer... please... I don't know what's happened to... me?" _

_She was talking and staring at her arms, not quite believing what she was seeing. Hardlight and mechanical components, where flesh and bone used to be._

She had looked at him much in the same way that Hal Jordan and Kilowog were looking now. Awaiting an explanation. Why did everybody think he could provide one?

"Who is Ilana, Razer?" Hal Jordan asked point blank.

The first time he heard that name that day, Razer felt like somebody took a hot knife and slashed at his heart. This was the second time he was hearing it and it made him ache even more, if such a thing was possible. He felt exposed and vulnerable, and that made it so easy to remember that once upon a time, he used to Green Lanterns.

Just minutes earlier Hal Jordan was talking to him about respect and love and now he was asking questions that caused Razer physical pain.

"How does one NOT become a Red Lantern in an universe so intent on making you suffer", Razer thought to himself. He was startled by fingers snapping in front of him.

"Don't zone out on me Razer, I asked you a question" Hal reprimanded him.

"I _heard_ you, Jordan", Razer snapped right back and stared with malice in his eyes.

"Care to answer?"

The two engaged in a round of spiteful glaring, until finally Razer relented. He sighed and started with a tired voice:

"She's somebody from my past. Somebody I care a great deal about"

"Any reason why Aya thinks she's this person?" Hal Jordan pressed on.

"I can only tell you that at some point she had access to my memories. When I was held at the Spider Guild's prison"

"So she read your mind, and then she gets zapped with an energy thingy, and then comes back and thinks she is this... somebody else... why? It doesn't make any sense!"

"Maybe it's some kind of... I don't know... malfunction?" Kilowog offered.

"It's obviously a mistake of some kind. But what kind of malfunction creates a whole new identity?"

"It's not a _new_ identity" Razer corrected the human and felt his anger subside. Hal Jordan was not asking more questions about exactly who Ilana was and he was grateful for that.

"Fine, whatever. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter how this happened. What I want to know is how do we snap her out of it because while Aya is out of commission, we are stranded on this planet"

"What!?" Kilowog barked.

"We left the ship with the security protocols activated, remember? Because as irony would have it, we knew this sector is crawling with space pirates. That means..."

"We _can't _fly the ship!"

"That's right, Big Guy. Not until we can activate manual control... which we can't do without Aya..."

The three men stared uncomfortably at each other. Hal ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. He was the one that had to fix this, he thought to himself. He finally headed for the conference room. Kilowog went straight after him, and Razer dragged his feet in the same direction, dreading what was about to unfold.

Hal found the android cowering in a corner, hugging her knees. Her eyes immediately locked on to Razer the second they walked in. He looked away.

"Razer, what is going on?" she asked, her voice trembling.

Hal looked to Razer and then back at the robot. With a final sigh he crouched down next to her and gently grabbed her shoulders.

"Aya, honey, are you in there?" he said staring into her eyes.

The android flinched and tried to shake off his hands. She ignored his question.

"Razer, please... why won't you look at me?"

"Aya, if you're in there, can you give us a sign? Anything" Hal continued.

"Razer!"

"We just need you to deactivate the security protocols. We can't fly the ship..."

"What are you talking about?" the android asked finally acknowledging the human's questions.

"The ship is on lockdown. We can't leave unless we get manual control"

She finally shook free of his hold and got up. She wanted to go to Razer but Kilowog stepped in front of her.

"What is going on... I don't understand any of this... And _what_ is that noise?"

She clutched her head and scratched at her helmet, trying to remove the source of some strange noise.

"Aya, we need..."

"Stop calling me that! My name is _Ilana_!" she finally snapped and the lights on the Interceptor flickered violently.

The ship trembled as it armed itself and fired a shot in a random direction. Two trees in front of the ship were disintegrated, replaced by two thin wisps of smoke.

Razer could not take any more of the display and walked off the ship. He stepped outside and tried to calm himself, taking deep breaths, remembering Saint Walker's meditation techniques.

He couldn't stand watching Hal interrogate Ilana, or the thing pretending to be Ilana, because he was beyond sure his love was long lost. However, this _new_ machine moved the way Ilana moved, had the same mannerisms, even had the same tone of voice and way of speech. It should've been obvious to him the second he first interacted with her in that temple, that it wasn't just Aya pretending to be Ilana.

It _was_ Ilana, or at the very least a damn good illusion of her. And on top of everything, he knew the real Aya was probably somewhere in that positronic brain... trapped or worse.

"Hey kid, you alright?" Hal asked coming next to him.

"You want the honest answer?"

"I don't think I need it. You're looking even more miserable than usual" Hal replied.

He looked to the ground, trying to gather his thoughts, and then turned in Razer's direction.

"Whatever it is, it is obviously in control of the ship", Hal spoke softly.

"I wouldn't call it _control_" Razer stated plainly, but there was a hint of sadness in tone.

"I know this is hard, but you need to get your head in the game. Whatever this Ilana is, you're the only one that has a chance of getting it to cooperate"

"To what purpose?" Razer asked, ignoring the fact that Hal continued to call the AI currently inhabiting Aya's body an _"it"._

Hal remained silent carefully considering their options. Unfortunately, there was only one.

"The only logical explanation is that Aya's malfunctioning somehow. Which means she needs to be fixed. And there's only one place in this galaxy where we can get help for her

"You want to take her back to Oa?! You know what they tried to do to her!"

"I don't know what else to do, Razer. You tell me what the options are with an AI that has lost her marbles! It's not like I can call a shrink to treat her for multiple personality disorder!"

Hal Jordan was very close to shouting, venting out his own frustration over the situation. Razer realised the responsibility that the human felt for Aya. He pushed and pushed to get her to achieve independence, and in the end she was injured on his watch.

Razer remained silent, building up the courage to give voice to his own theory, hoping that would not lead to more questions regarding his past.

"There's something I haven't told you, Hal Jordan. Aya didn't just have access to my memories. She... _used_ them"

"What do you mean? Used them for what?"

"She used the image of Ilana as a model for her physical form. If she did that, it stands to reason she might've created a personality profile also..."

"If that personality profile was activated, that would answer _a lot_ of questions" Hal conceded, feeling relieved there was at least a _chance_ for a logical explanation.

He was also shocked he was just finding out the truth behind Aya's physical form. He noticed that she was pretty, who wouldn't, but now it seems there was a secret hiding behind that pretty face. It wasn't hers to begin with. Yes, Razer's confession did answer a lot of questions, while also raising some new interesting ones. Why would Aya pick that particular face? How did that affect Razer's developing feelings for her?

Hal shook his head and tried to clear his thoughts. As valid as those questions were, they would need to be answered at a later date. Right now, they were not important.

"Right, if it's a personality profile then we should be able to delete it and Aya would retake control of her physical form"

All Razer could do was nod his head. He wasn't 100% sure it would work out quite so efficiently... and he wasn't 100% sure he was right about Aya profiling Ilana to begin with.

"We still need to get to Oa. Do you think you can talk it into giving us control of the ship?" Hal finally asked.

"I don't see we have any other choice. Like you said, I'm the only one that has a chance to make her understand what is going on"

"Razer, remember. It's not Ilana. It's some line of code that went wonky"

"Right, it's not Ilana..."Razer whispered.

Then why did he feel like they were conspiring to commit murder?

* * *

He found her in the infirmary, staring at her image in the monitors. She traced her cheeks with her fingers, following the pattern of where Ilana's markings should be. She turned around eventually to see who had entered the infirmary. Her gaze was filled with a strange mix of fear and longing.

"Razer" she whispered.

The AI shifted uncomfortably and wrapped her arms around herself. She didn't run up to him like the times before.

"Is... is somebody going to explain to me what is happening._ Calmly, _if possible" she wondered aloud.

"Ilana died" he stated point-blank and the words caused her to flinch. "So you can't be her. So what are you?"

She trembled although he knew for a fact Aya's form didn't perceive the cold. Not like organic beings did anyway. Her arms wrapped even tighter around herself and she was gathering the strength to ask the next question.

"How did I die?"

"You didn't. Didn't you hear me? You're _not _Ilana"

"B-but... That's impossible, if I died how can I be here now? Talking to you?"

"You are a computer program designed from my memories of Ilana. And right now you're replacing our nav-com and we kind of need her back"

"Computer... no, no... I know who I am. I remember..."

"What do you remember? What is _the last thing _you remember?"

She rubbed her forehead in an effort to concentrate and looked around erratically.

"You" she finally said. "You left, you went to join the militia. You told me you were going to protect everybody... then I remember only darkness... and then I woke up here. On this strange planet..."

"That was _my_ memory. It's the last thing you remember because it is my last memory of you. Well... second to last" he added with bitterness.

"But I feel..."

"It doesn't matter what you feel, what matters is we leave this planet, before more spacepirates or Manhunters or who knows what show up"

"What happened to you? You were never this _cruel_..."

"How would you know!? You didn't even _exist_ until two hours ago!" Razer yelled at her.

She winced, and retreated even more into herself. He had never yelled at Ilana in his life, and he wasn't really sure why he was yelling now but he was already regretting his outburst. She started trembling again and moisture was gathering in the corners of her eyes. He would blow up at Aya all the time and she didn't take it so badly. He had gotten used to people being blase about his anger. But Ilana... Ilana did not know this Razer, and he probably terrified her.

"Even if they're not _my_ memories, it doesn't make them any less true" she whispered. "You were a good man once, and you loved m... You loved Ilana. If I am nothing more than an amalgamation of your recollections of her... couldn't you _at least_ show me a little kindness? Or have you come to hate your past so much?"

"I don't hate my past", he confessed, feeling like a wretch. "The time I spent with her, those were the happiest days of my life"

She nodded her head in understanding and seemed slightly more at ease.

"May I ask again how did I die... or rather how did _she_ die?"

"When I returned from the war... I discovered our home had been attacked. Ilana was... already gone. There was nothing more I could do..."

His clenched his jaw and his fists, his body still responding in strange ways to that memory. She came up beside him and cupped the side of his face. He wanted to move away but couldn't steal himself from her warm, but sad gaze.

"That must've been so painful" she spoke softly.

"You have _no_ idea" he replied weakly. Of its own accord, his hand moved over hers to hold it.

"What is this?" she asked staring at his ring.

"That's my... Red Lantern ring. It... found me after I found Ilana's body. It gave me the power to punish those I thought were responsible for her death. Only I didn't stop at them..."

"Did you kill people?" she asked, seemingly scared of the answer.

Razer exhaled and braced himself.

"Yes I did"

"In cold blood?"

She took a step backwards, increasing the distance between them.

"You could say that" he answered, his mind clearing up with some distance between them. "During my time with the Red Lanterns, I helped end many lives. Though at the time, I thought they all deserved it"

"And now?"

"Now... I realise I was running around without a conscience, hurting people and... comitting atrocities I desperately want to atone for. I wouldn't have reached this point if it wasn't for the Green Lanterns... the ones you met. Hal, Kilowog and... Aya, it's _her_ body you're using now... They found me and saved me. Gave me a chance to redeem myself"

"The Green Lanterns" she whispered absentmindedly and felt the symbol on her chest with her fingers. "Did they build this... this... Aya?"

"In a manner of speaking . Though not Hal and Kilowog. They couldn't build a pile of rocks. But the Interceptor and its... physical form are part of the Green Lantern Corps"

"Why do I look like me?" she asked all of a sudden.

Razer's heart skipped a beat.

"I mean. Why does this robot look like me? I don't understand. If there is no connection between myself and Aya... Why does she _look_ like me?"

Razer struggled to come up with an explanation that made some sort of sense, at least enough sense for her to understand.

"It's complicated" is all he could get out.

"Then _simplify _it" she demanded and a hint of annoyance creeped up in her voice.

"The artificial intelligence that runs this ship... used your appearance as a basis for her physical form"

Ilana listened intently and took a few steps around the room, trying to process the information.

"Why me? Why would she choose _my_ appearance?"

Razer's throat tightened and he felt her eyes boring into him like lasers.

"You said I was created from your memories... did the computer have access to them?"

"Yes"

"Did you share them with her?"

"Not willingly but... yes, that did happen at some point"

She stared straight into his eyes. All trace of fear and longing had been washed away by a sudden wave of dark emotion. Something between jelousy and anguish.

"Do you have feelings for this Aya?" she asked plainly.

There it was... Ilana had always been incredibly insightful, and she could read people with an accuracy that sometimes shocked those that didn't know her.

He looked away, unable to bear the weight of the question coming from his would-be accuser. The android continued to stare at him, fists coiled tightly together. The lights in the room started flickering, which caused him alarm. He finally got up the courage to look at her, but still didn't say anything. She could read the truth well enough on her own.

"It was supposed to be you and me _forever_" she said, her voice filled with sorrow. "Remember what you promised? You and me, growing old together, die in our beds surrounded by fat grandchildren? Do you remember that?"

"I do" he croaked.

She nodded slowly her eyes tearing up.

"And then you left and you let me die and you replaced me with a _robot_" Her voice cracked, a sob caught in her throat.

"Ilana..."

"Oh, _now _you call me Ilana" she spat, suddenly enraged. "_Now_ you believe me to be your Ilana. Now!? Where was your concern before? Did you not believe it could be me until you made me _suffer_!?"

"Ilana, _please_" He took a step in her direction, trying to get closer to her, to make her understand. She moved backwards and looked at him with more malice than he ever thought possible of his beloved Ilana in the past.

"You have no idea how lost I was" he began. "The things I did during my time with the Red Lanterns. They haunted me... they _still_ haunt me. Aya, ever since I met her, she's been the a light in this darkness. She made me feel... like I could find my way back, like I could rebuild my life. And I am and I _will not_ apologise for my feelings for her"

"Your apologies would be pointless. Much like my existence apparently..."

She sounded far away, her voice barely carrying over the chasm forming between them.

"I could never replace you, but was I supposed to never care about anybody again?"

"You were supposed to move on", she answered with bitterness, a tear falling down her cheek. "You were supposed to _honor_ my memory. Leave, go somewhere where you could be at peace, find somebody to give you _all_ that was taken from us. Can you honestly tell me that your robot is that somebody? She doesn't even have her own face. No, this is not a new life. This is you playing at rebuilding your life. It's... it's disrespectful to everything that we had"

"I meant no disrespect. The fact that Aya is an AI has no influence on her capacity to love. Point in fact, you're using her body now... and it seems to me you're experiencing a lot of emotion"

Ilana stared him down, her features growing colder and harder. Gone was the flame of anger, replaced with a look of bitter determination.

"I understand..." she muttered. "It is clear what we must do. We must get you back your Aya".

The doors to the infirmary slid open and Hal Jordan walked in.

"Is everything alright in..." he stopped and instantly regretted coming in. Aya, or Ilana, or whatever she was called now, wiped fresh tears from her face. Razer quickly turned his back but it was obvious from his hand motions he was removing the moisture gathered in his own eyes. Hal looked around and had trouble remembering when he had ever felt this awkward in his life.

"Okeeeey... I think I'll go now..."

"Hal Jordan" Ilana called out, and brushed her tears away.

The Green Lantern turned around, hopeful.

"Sorry to disappoint. I'm afraid I am still not your navigational computer. I simply heard the others call you that name. Razer has explained the situation to me. I'm aware I'm not... I'm aware. What do you need me to do exactly?"

"Uhm, cancel security protocols, activate manual control for starters"

"How do I do that?"

"Well the ship seems to respond to your emotions. Wish for it really hard I guess?"

Ilana looked in Razer's direction and then back at Hal Jordan.

"What will happen to me if I give you control of this ship?" she asked.

"We'll get you to Oa and... get some help. From people that are way smarter than us"

"What is the nature of this help?"

Hal ran a hand through his hair again trying to buy some time. In situations like this, feigning ignorance always worked best for him.

"I don't know, mam, I'm no engineer..."

"You want me gone. In _your_ eyes I'm hijacking your precious navigational computer and you can't wait till I am erased and the problem that I represent disappears"

"Now waitaminute. I never said..."

"That is alright Hal Jordan" she said and walked out of the infirmary. She walked over to the bridge where Kilowog was surprised to see her.

Ilana stared at the control panels and squinted her eyes, seemingly "wishing very hard". The panels activated and flashed in multiple colours.

"There. I believe you can attempt control now" Ilana said in a neutral tone.

Kilowog came over to input some commands and then announced with a relieved tone of voice.

"It worked. Jordan, we can get outta here"

"Start the launch sequence, Kilowog. Thank you" Hal said in Ilana's direction, and it was actual gratitude.

"If you _really_ want to thank me, then get us to Oa quickly. This experience has been a nightmare, and the sooner it ends, the better"

Hal gave a curt nod and then looked at Razer, who in turn was looking the most miserable he had ever seen him. Whatever they had been talking about, it had been a gut-wrenching conversation. It drove at least one of them to suicide, if you could call the desire for "deletion" a suicide in the case of computer programs.

"May I stay on the bridge?" Ilana asked as Kilowog was revving up the engines. "I've never been on a spaceship before... You will not need to restrain me, I promise"

"Of course" Hal quickly agreed, noting that it was probably the first time he'd heard somebody that was essentially the computer of a spaceship say they've never been on a spaceship before. Probably the last time he'd hear that.

Ilana took Aya's regular seat, and Razer walked next to it.

"Ilana, I..."

"Please Razer. Don't waste your pity on the _wrong_ computer program" she said looking up at him. Her voice sounded hollow, her eyes were filled with contempt.

Kilowog threw Hal a questioning look, but all the human could do was shrug his shoulders and mouth "I don't know". Razer eventually let out a breath he was holding and marched off the bridge.

Ilana stared at the stars that were just becoming visible as the Interceptor left behind the outer layers of the planet's atmosphere.

* * *

**AN**: This is a pretty dark chapter, because I'm in a pretty dark place. Those that read the news know why. I know I've made Ilana pretty unlikable so far... but on the one had, there's an explanation for that coming later on and on the other hand... well, just put yourself in her position. It's pretty messed up to come back from the dead and see who the love of your life has chose to move on with, while everybody else treats you like a thing and/or expects you to go away like a nuissance of a computer-virus. It's kind of like Cartoon Netowrk is treating GL-TAS fans now.


	3. Dry my eyes so I won't show

He stared at his gloved hands occasionally flexing his fingers. To an outside person it might've looked like he was just thinking, but inside the emotional storm was raging. He tried so hard to honor Ilana's memory, only to have it all thrown back in his face. On top of everything, he was worried about Aya. He missed her, missed her soothing influence on his nerves. Of course, he couldn't just miss her and not be conflicted about those emotions also, given that he now knew exactly what Ilana would think about such a relationship.

If anything, this experience reassured him that his feelings for the AI were not based in any way, shape or form on her resemblance to Ilana. It was Aya's warmth that he missed, her determination and her willingness not see the best in him. Because right now... he felt at his worst.

He'd let Ilana down. If he only had more time, time to make her understand... What happened to him, how he changed, how she'd not been replaced at all...

The door slid open and Hal Jordan walked in. Razer let out a heavy sigh.

"Aren't you tired of checking up on me, Jordan"

"Just seemed like it got a little... intense in there"

"You have a talent for understatement"

"I just wanted to know that you're not having any second thoughts about the plan"

"The plan?"

"Gettin to Oa.. _deleting_ the Ilana program"

Razer looked away, his expression hard for Hal Jordan to read.

"Maybe we can... maybe they can download her into another body"

"Razer..."

"Or another computer... or..."

"Razer!" Hal raised his voice.

"What if we're wrong. What if it's not a malfunction? At least not in the way we think. Maybe Aya activated the profile while she repairs her own systems. Maybe if we give it some time, she'll come back by herself"

"Or maybe the more we wait the more corrupted her files get until we won't be able to get her back at all. Razer, what are you doing? What are you thinking?"

The Red Lantern looked down embarrassed.

"Hal... I _owe_ her" he said, staring at the floor.

"That is your guilt talking. I don't know the specifics of what happened in your past. And it's fine if you don't want to tell me, but please, don't set yourself up to make that kind of choice, because believe me..."

"If there's a chance that we can save them _both_..." Razer interrupted.

"And if there isn't?"

Razer kept his sullen silence. He wasn't ready to accept that possibility.

"This is why I wanted you to keep a clear head. _Aya_ needs to be your priority"

"She is!"

"Then act like it. And don't look at me like I'm the bad guy"

"I thought Green Lanterns were supposed to protect innocent life. Ilana's an innocent in all of this!"

"So is Aya. And she has more life in her than a personality profile of your ex-girlfriend"

Razer detected a note of irony in Hal Jordan's reply that irked him the wrong way. He glared at the human.

"Do you think that I would _choose_ Ilana over Aya?"

"I believe that having to _make_ that choice is damaging enough. And even if they could be separated and we download Ilana somewhere else... what then? Do you think she'd be happy as an artificial intelligence? Do you think that she could just move on or things could go back to the way they were?"

"No... " Razer answered faintly.

"Then it is settled"

"But I think she deserves the option"

"She hasn't done anything to deserve anything... _except _make you miserable. That's why you're not thinking clearly. But it's alright. That's what friends are for" Hal said with resolve and turned around to leave.

"What if it was Carol..." Razer muttered from behind.

Hal Jordan stopped in his tracks and looked at the Red Lantern over his shoulder.

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear you say that"

"But I did" Razer said getting up, taking slow measured steps towards Hal as he talked.

"If it was somebody that you cared about, more than anything, that you lost... How would you feel about getting a second chance?"

"_Exactly the same_" Hal snapped. "If I lost Carol, I wouldn't try to replace her with a computer program. It wouldn't be _her_. And I wouldn't keep it around to ease my own feelings of guilt. So yes, I would feel exactly the same. You're supposed to love the person Razer, not the _idea_ of the person"

Hal brusquely turned to leave again but stopped in the door frame.

"We're going to ask the Guardians to try and save both of them. But if they can't... You better make your peace with it. Worst case scenario, you're not losing anybody, you're saving a friend."

The human exited the room and Razer was left alone with his despair.

* * *

Ilana had not said anything for about an hour, Kilowog calculated in his head. She just sat staring at the screen, her expression blank. They'd jumped out of ultrawarp near Oa. Jumps were harder to calculate manually and accuracy usually suffered, so the rest of the trip had to be travelled via impulse-engines. Hal had left just minutes before to go check in on Razer, leaving Kilowog to awkwardly deal with the Aya usurper.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Usually he wasn't the one to initiate conversations with the poozers, but the tension was so thick in the room he felt he might choke on the static electricity.

He tried to subtly clear his throat to get Ilana's attention, only when Bolovaxians clear their throat, it still sounds like a terrifying roar to most non-bolovaxians. Ilana nearly jumped out of her seat and stared at Kilowog.

"Hehe. Sorry about that" he said, blushing.

Ilana looked him up and down twice and then returned her attention to the cosmic tableau in front of her. Kilowog took a deep breath and resolved to get what he had to say off his rather impressive chest.

"Hey, listen... I just want you to know, Razer is a good kid"

Ilana threw him a puzzled look then turned her attention back to the stars.

"Even good men make mistakes. Some of them unforgivable"

"Look, I don't know..."

"That's right, you _don't_ know. So why should I listen to you?" Ilana snapped.

"I don't know about your shared past" Kilowog continued. "But what I do know is that we're all placed in this universe for a reason. It's up to you to decide if your purpose here was to make Razer punish himself even more... or if you were meant to give him some peace of mind"

Kilowog's words seem to have an impact, since Ilana's features softened. She actually smirked.

"You're the first person to speak to me like I'm more than just a computer error. Thank you for that. But do you really think I owe Razer anything? Why should he even _have_ peace of mind?"

"I don't know anything about owing anything to anybody. That's your business. But I've lost people too. And if I had a chance to speak to them, in any way, by whichever means... I'd like

to know that they thought I turned out alright. That I did right by them"

"Even if you didn't?"

"But _he _did. I told you, Razer is a good kid. You didn't ask for any of this and nobody says you didn't get a rotten deal. But before you go... you can do _one _good thing"

Ilana remained silent, eyes to the floor, contemplating the Green Lantern's words. Eventually she murmured:

"You are a good friend, Kilowog"

"Who, me? Nah, I hate the poozer. He's arrogant and he smells funny"

"You're talking about Razer, aren't you?" Hal asked entering the bridge.

The human looked in Ilana's direction, and she noticed he looked uncomfortable doing so.

"Uh... Ilana" he said walking over to her. "We're going to reach Oa soon. I just want you to know that... we're going to try and separate you from Aya somehow. You don't have to, you know..."

"Be deleted?"

"Yeah, if there's any way we can prevent that..."

"Do not worry about me Hal Jordan. I have made my decision" She got up. "Besides... a world in which Razer does not love me is not a world I care to be part of"

Ilana walked off the bridge and headed straight for Razer's quarters. She found him seated on his bunk, head in hands, unwilling to face the world. He looked up and jumped to his feet when he saw her.

"Ilana..." he started.

"Please. I need to say something" she began but paused and took a deep breath that she didn't need.

"I said some things that... were hurtful. And at the time, I did mean them. I probably still do. But the absolute truth is that you _are_ rebuilding your life and it's not for me to judge how. I don't know what sins you have committed in my name and I wish you hadn't, but you did and now you're... you have people that care about you and obviously you care about them. _Some _more than others. That is what matters most."

She took another pause and a deep breath. She came face to face with him and caressed his right cheek, like the old Ilana use to do. Moisture gathered in her eyes as she gathered her strength.

"For what it's worth... I can tell you that I will _always _love you and I hope you'll be happy again. Soon"

She blinked away some of her tears and her hand lingered on his face just a second to long. When she finally made a move to leave, Razer grabbed her hand and took her in his arms, hugging her his chest.. Ilana responded to the hug, wrapping her arms around his neck. She cried loudly and without shame, sobs rocking her artificial body.

"Ilana... if you have the opening, you should take it" he muttered.

"What... what do you mean?" she asked between sobs.

"I mean, if you decide you want to live, you need to fight for it"

"But... what about your Aya?"

"If there's a chance to save you both, I don't trust the Guardians to find it. They are more likely to delete you both. Don't believe them. And don't trust the Green Lanterns"

"But they are your friends... how..."

The ship trembled in a familiar way for Razer. They had just entered Oan atmosphere. He glanced down at Ilana, who was looking up at him with fear in her eyes, a fear he had never observed in Aya. And she was so different from Aya... but that was no reason to let her fade away. He cupped her face with both his hands, looking her straight in the eyes.

"Do whatever is necessary to insure your survival" he said with bitter determination. "I'll keep the engines running. I will wait for you"

The doors slid open to reveal Hal Jordan once again. Razer jumped back, breaking contact from the shaken up Ilana.

"We arrived" Jordan announced, and looked warily at the two former lovers.

"Are you ready?" he asked Ilana.

"Right, lead the way, Hal Jordan" Ilana replied, trying to keep up appareances.

Razer followed them, with slow and steady steps, his fists clenching automatically. He stopped at the exit ramp. Hal and Kilowog were on either side of Ilana, getting ready to leave.

"I'll stay on the ship", Razer announced. Hal nodded in his direciton, probably thinking the Red Lantern found it too hard to stand by while he lost his loved one again.

The two Green Lanterns escorted Ilana. She looked back once more at Razer. She managed a faint smile, her eyes told a different story though. The story of a person about to jump off a cliff...

Razer returned to the bridge where he sat waiting, every nerve tingling, every instinct telling him to run after the trio that had just left and wisk Ilana away. If she even wanted that. Maybe Ilana would decide that it's for the best to do absolutely nothing at all, whatever that entailed for her. But what if she did decide to make a run for it. Where would they go then? What would they do? Hal Jordan and Kilowog would surely be on their tracks.

Razer was pacing back and forth, racking his mind to come up with options. He determined the best thing to do was to ask for sanctuary on odym. The Blue Lanterns would never turn away an innocent, and nobody was more innocent than Ilana. Anybody is entitled to sanctuary, even a runaway Red Lantern and a defective AI. Furthermore, Ganthet was one of the main Guardians that had a hand in designing the Interceptor, and implicitly, its AI. Surely he could offer input on how to safely separate the two minds now inhabiting the physical form of the ship.

Yes, that was a good plan. Good enough.

The ship sensors alerted him that green energy was being discharged somewhere in the vicinity. Lots of green energy.

"This is it... she's making a break for it" he muttered.

He started up the engines and the ship propelled forward, in the direction of the energy discharge. As he got closer to the source, he heard screeches, alarms and muffled explosions. Curious thing... he was getting closer to the science cells. Is that where they took her? A green and white streak suddenly appeared on the view screen. It was heading fast for the ship. Razer recognized Aya's color pattern and slowed down, opening one of the ships entry points. He activated the ship's defense systems, as soon as Ilana came on board. Green Lanterns were also fast approaching his location.

"Razer!"

He jumped up at the sound of his name. Ilana rushed over to hug him tightly.

"Thank you for waiting for me" she mumbled into his chest.

"Ilana we need to get out of here" Razer said trying to gently push her back.

"Not yet"

"What do you mean not yet?"

Ilana leaned back from the hug and gazed up at him, with a wide smile on her face. Razer stared at her confused... He suddenly felt the familiar pain of the red energy being ripped away from his body. Ilana had taken away his Red Lantern ring. She steped back and observed the transformation. After being engulfed and released by the light he looked at his hands confused.

Ilana grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. She pushed him forward and forced him to get down on his knees.

"What are you doing!?" he asked outraged.

"Razeeer, my young friend. How have you been?"

"_No, not him..."_ Razer thought as a shiver ran down his spine and his skin crawled.

"Atrocitus" he gnarled through gritted teeth. "How did you do this?"

The former leader of the Red Lanterns proudly claimed the bridge of the Interceptor for himself.

"Catching up will have to wait, I'm afraid. We have a prison escape to get underway"

Atrocitus channeled his months of pent-up frustration into his fist, hitting Razer across the face and knocking him out.


	4. Stay put and play along

The Interceptor broke out of Oa's orbit and prepared to activate the ultrawarp when a whole squad of Green Lanterns, led by Hal Jordan and Kilowog cut its path. Ring arms were promptly extended and threatened to launch a flood of green hardlight on the Interceptor, though most of the GL's gathered would've preferred to avoid that scenario.

"Atrocitus, you were going to leave without saying goodbye? I'm hurt" Jordan said.

"Were you really?" Kilowog asked in earnest.

"We need to fine tune your sarcasmometer big guy"

"Your wit is a linguistic jewel of ineptitude, human. Now why don't you and your minions make way" Atrocitus replied.

"You are not going _anywhere_" Hal warned, turning serious.

"But I am. Ilana, activate the self-destruct sequence"

"Affirmative. Self-destruct sequence... initiated. Detonation of the ultrawarp core will take place in 30 seconds"

"You won't blow yourself up, Atrocitus! You are too big of a narcissist to let that happen" Hal shouted trying to sound convincing.

"Even if that's true, _believe me_ Jordan, I would rather die than return to one of your infernal science cells. And in my demise I will also take two of your crew members with me. Razer and the computer... what was its name again? Alia?"

"Aya, my lord" the Ilana AI replied.

"Ah yes, Aya. Thank you, lovely Ilana"

"Ilana... you're helping him? Why!?" Hal asked.

"It is my mission, Green Lantern Hal Jordan. The reason I was put in this universe, as your friend Kilowog expressed. And may I remind you that you have 10 seconds before this vessel detonates"

Hal looked in Kilowog's direction and glared at the Interceptor's bridge through its screen. With a grunt of frustration he lowered his ring arm, and signaled the other Green Lanterns to do the same.

The Interceptor cut a path through the Green Lanterns and then jumped out of sight, to an unknown location on the other side of the galaxy.

* * *

Razer came to in the familiar setting of the Interceptor's brig. He rubbed his jaw which caused him to wince in pain.

"The prince awakens" he heard Atrocitus say.

Razee glared at him, feeling his blood starting to boil. If only he had his ring. He was sure he had enough rage to disintegrate every single atom of Atrocitus` being.

"Are you getting the same sense of deja vu as I am Razer? Once again you are within my grasp and once again it is your beloved Ilana that has brought you to me" Atrocitus stepped aside to reveal the android body that once belonged to Aya.

Atrocitus placed his giant hands on her shoulders, holding her to him. The robot did not seem to mind, and even though Razer had been recently betrayed, he could barely contain his fury at the sight of Atrocitus touching her.

"I am sure you are wondering how this was possible. I confess, I myself was surprised at what curious shape my angel took. But beggars can't be choosers, isn't that right dear?"

"You are no beggar, my lord Atrocitus" a familiar feminine voice said.

"Drusa" Razer said with contempt. "I should've known you were behind this"

Drusa came forward and stood beside her 'lord'.

"Yes, you should have. After all, you're the one dumb enough to spare my life that day"

Drusa crossed her arms and looked at Razer defiantly.

"Do you like my little project?" she asked gesturing towards the android. "I created her just for you. It wasn't easy. I had to go all the way back to the forgotten zone to retrieve a copy of your memory scan. Add to that the identity source code acquired from Aya when she was under my control, a sprinkle of my own genius and voila... Ilana's triumphant return, and your inevitable doom"

"You went to all this trouble just to rescue Atrocitus, who doesn't even give a damn about you" Razer spat.

"Liberate Atrocitus _and _make you suffer. You know, I can see why you and Aya are so drawn to each other, you are both nothing more than puppets on a string... so easy to manipulate"

Razer growled, unable to take anymore and propelled himself forward. He was caught in the force field that held an electrical charge it never did before. The current slashed through him, making him feel like insides would combust. He was thrown back and hit his back against the wall, sliding down.

"Now, now... calm down" Drusa cooed. "There is another reason for this little charade. See, Aya went to some extra lengths to insure her system would be less vulnerable to outside influences. So I knew I couldn't deliver just any type of overriding command. But if I built a program based around information she already acquired, namely your memories, it would be easier to assimilate. Then it was just a matter of getting close enough to deliver the package. Thankfully, the space pirates were happy to help, in exchange for the manhunter technology"

"Why are you telling me this?" Razer snapped.

"Because I want you to _know_" Drusa said leaning in, her face less than an inch away from the force field that kept him captive. "I want you to know just how responsible you are for everything. You should know that and you should spend the last days of your miserable existence racked with guilt"

Razer felt hopelessness take him over. He didn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing him weak, but he had to ask.

"What about Aya?"

"Aya? She's still in there somewhere" Drusa replied running her fingers over the android's helmet. "Watching... completely powerless. I thought that would be fitting. Why should she miss out on the fun? I will erase her files eventually, but first, I think I'll let her watch you get tortured a couple of times".

Razer didn't think it was possible to hate anybody more than Atrocitus at that moment, but Drusa was making it easy to despise her at that moment. His anger was literally making him shake.

"Why do you hate us so much, you evil bitch?"

"You and your little robot side-kick humiliated me, twice. I'm woman enough to admit that. And I am also woman enough to get my vengeance. And if I can do that and serve Atrocitus at the same time... It makes all the sense in the world"

"And I suppose he promised you a piece of the galaxy in return for your loyalty" Razer asked.

"A small piece, I'm not greedy"

"It's going to be a small piece of nothing once the Anti-Monitor and his manhunters are through with it. Atrocitus, you have terrible timing"

"Don't you presume to tell me about the Manhunters, _boy_" Atrocitus spat, his own anger flaring. "I have suffered more at their hands than anybody in this universe or the dimensions beyond it. I will destroy them... but after they have laid to waste the Green Lantern Corps. The prodigal sons will return home. There is a certain poetic justice in this that I love so much..." Atrocitus paused, absorbing the depth of his own words. He came to shortly out of his reverie and asked:

"Drusa, have you contacted Ysmault?"

"Yes my lord, Zilius Zox will arrive shortly with a new Red Lantern ring for you"

"Excellent. Let's go and leave young Razer to thoughts of his own past failings and upcoming horrors"

The two left, with the android trailing behind. She threw Razer one last look over her shoulder and joined her new masters. Razer slumped down and allowed himself a moment to panic. He remembered Saint Walker's calming techniques and proceeded to push his fears away and his anger to the side, concentrate on the task at hand... how does he take control of the Interceptor?

"You don't say much, do you?" Atrocitus asked while studying the android.

"There's nothing for it to say" Drusa replied from her station on the bridge. "Its mission has been completed. Whatever personality it had, has been archived".

"Interesting. I've met this android before, if only I knew the tale behind this pretty face"

Atrocitus studied the blank, emotionless pretty face. He'd heard by now the story about how this thing looked like Razer's dead love, Ilana. Though he had never seen her himself, he did orchestrate her death. And it was a strange feeling to look on the face of your victim, after she had been buried.

He raised his hand to touch the robot's face, but to his surprise, she jerked back, grabbed his arm and twisted it, causing Atrocitus to fall to his knees.

"What are you doing?" Drusa said getting up alarmed. "Let him go!"

At the sound of her master's voice, the female android instantly released the arm she nearly broke.

"No personality? Seems to me she has an excess of personality" Atrocitus said getting up.

"I'm sorry Lord, it must've been the automated self-defense protocol" Drusa tried to explain embarrassed. "I'll take her away"

Drusa practically dragged the android into the conference room and sat her in a corner.

"You're lucky the Aya program is still in there and I want to have my fun with her, otherwise I'd throw you into a black hole first chance I got. Now, shut down" Drusa commanded it.

The robot cocked her head like she didn't understand the command, but then straightened up and with a hiss, she fell limp the floor. Drusa threw Razer a nasty look through the force field, and then left the conference room to return to the bridge. Razer watched the entire episode unfold with the feigned curiosity of a prisoner that was pacified... but as soon as Drusa left he returned to his efforts of trying to dislodge a panel from his cell's wall, to get at the controls behind it.

After a couple of minutes, the android's eyes glowed with their distinctive blue light. She hummed to life, getting up. She looked towards the bridge, but carefully made her way to the brig.

At the sound of her footsteps, Razer turned around and threw another hate filled stare, but not quite as harsh as those he reserved for Drusa and Atrocitus.

"What do you want?" he asked annoyed.

The android cocked her head and simply stared. Her eyes flickered around as if she was trying to remember something.

"Well?"

"I loved you once", she finally said. "And then... I think I loved you again...:"

"Drusa, if this is another one of your sick games" he called out.

"Shhhh"

The android gestured to him to be quiet.

"I control the surveillance monitors, but they might still hear you"

"And what if they do? Aren't they your masters?" Razer asked with contempt.

She looked away confused, shook her head and brought her hands up to stare at them.

"Something's happening" she whispered. "It's the Aya program" she realized and looked straight into Razer's eyes. Upon hearing that name he looked up hopeful. They both took a step closer to each other, still separated by the cell's force field.

"Aya?" Razer asked tentatively.

"She stopped fighting. She's figured out that she can't counteract my programming... so she's not trying to anymore. She's deleting her files..."

"Aya, don't!" Razer shouted, hoping the AI could hear him.

"She's rerouting all accessible processing power to me, allowing me to grow, to change, to... become more like myself" Ilana continued.

"No, Aya, please stop. There must be another way"

"There isn't" she declared resolute. She took an extra step through the force field and into his cell.

"I can't let them hurt you. Soon I'll have to help you... I won't be able to stop myself" she realised, her eyes growing large as she run the simulation in her mind.

"If that happens. If I help you escape and we defeat Drusa and Atrocitus together... What will happen to me afterwards?"

Razer clenched his fists and took a deep breath, trying to get his feelings under control. There was only one possible answer, even though it was the answer that would guarantee his doom.

"You _will _be deleted".

Ilana kept her silence for a long moment, looking away, analyzing her options.

"I always did love you for your honesty" she whispered.

She extended her hand and opened her palm. In the centre of it was his Red Lantern ring. Razer hesitantly took it from her, still harboring his suspicions this might be some kind of game. The walls of the ship vibrated brusquely, signaling the ships full stop. Ilana's suddenly jerked her head to the side.

"Zilius Zox, he's here. Be prepared" she said and then head straight for the corner where Drusa left her and resumed her position on the floor.

Less then a minute passed and Drusa came down from the bridge to escort Zilius Zox's hovering form. The tiny ball of rage was so nervous he didn't even bother to look at Razer's cell.

"I had my doubts about you Drusa, but you are a true and loyal soldier of the Red Army. They will sing of your bravery and your cunning. There will be statues, huge statues..." Zox went on and on doing what he does best.

"Ass-kissing" Razer thought.

After the doors to the command deck rolled shut, Razer could hear Zox's high-pitched cries of hypocritical delight at seeing his master again. He would go on and on for a while, before giving Atrocitus his ring, he was sure of it. Ilana got up once more, the force field to Razer's cell powered down and he put on his ring. Once in uniform, he felt like his old self again.

"We have to intervene before Atrocitus has a chance to take his ring" Ilana said in a hushed voice, after Razer came over to her.

"I want to speak to Aya" Razer demanded.

"There's no time for that. Maybe if we decompress the bridge..."

"I want to speak to her _now_" Razer pressed on.

Ilana gave him a hard look, her lips pressed tightly.

"There's _nothing _left for you to talk to" she finally said.

Razer closed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. He lowered his head, his body shaking with barely contained rage.

"Razer, you have to focus, we need to..."

Red flame engulfed Razer's form and when he opened his eyes to look at her, his blue irises were replaced with two crimson orbs of hatred and rage. He held his ring arm up and propelled himself forward through the doors.

"_Razer_!" Ilana shouted after him.

Razer burst on the bridge with a growl just as Zilius Zox was handing Atrocitus his ring. With a roar he focused all his power on that shiny piece of red metal and let the red energy pour into it. Zilius Zox yelped in pain as the ring burned him and dropped it. Atrocitus tried to grab it but he too was burned by the red wave. The ring that was supposed to be his started to crack under the downpour of crimson light... the cracks spreading, until the ring exploded in a cloud of fine red particles.

The power of the explosion propelled Zox and Atrocitus backward, their backs violently slamming against the walls, knocking them out. Drusa knew to hide herself behind Ilana, where the robot's defenses protected her from the blast. The explosion also shattered the Interceptor's viewing screens. Zilius Zox and Atrocitus would've been sucked in the vacuum of space, had Razer not enveloped them in the hard light constructs generated by his ring. Drusa held on to a console until Ilana generated new screens, and resupplied the bridge with oxygen.

Razer's rage subsided only temporarily, while Ilana restored the atmosphere. He lowered his former masters to the floor. He caught Drusa trying to crawl away off the bridge and rushed over. He grabbed her by the neck and slammed her body against the wall, feeling the force of the impact vibrate through his arm. Drusa winced in pain. Eyes closed, she felt the heat emanating from Razer's red ring. Combined with the feeling of being near-suffocated, it made her cheeks flush and her eyes water.

Razer was breathing heavily, preparing to unleash his fury on the aggressor, when Ilana came over and gently grabbed his shoulder.

"Razer, put her down"

"No!"

"This isn't you any more. You don't want to do something you'll regret"

"I guarantee you I won't regret this" Razer said, his eyes locked to Drusa's.

"You don't kill in cold blood"

"Not innocents. After _everything_ she's done, can you honestly tell me she doesn't deserve it?"

"That's not for you to decide"

"Aya's gone because of _her_!" Razer screamed in anger, his arms starting to shake. "You finally got what you wanted didn't you. Well congratulations... because it's the last thing you'll ever accomplish"

"Wait!" Ilana shouted just as Razer was preparing to strike. "Drusa, you said you downloaded Aya's source code. I know you carry it with you. Give it to me!"

Flushed and terrified, Drusa obediently looked in a pocket on the inside of her vest. Razer squeezed her neck just a little bit harder, just to let her know that if she was hiding any kind of weapon, her end would come even swifter than he had originally planned. Drusa removed a silver memory stick.

Ilana grabbed it and introduced it in one of the stations.

"Combined with the ship's data base... we may retrieve Aya... Intact" Ilana muttered.

Razer waited, never taking his eyes off drusa.

"You better hope this works" he whispered.

Ilana typed a few commands in the console. A loading bar appeared, the database going through the process of being integrated in the ship's software. After a few minutes, a familiar voice was heard.

"Razer..."

"Aya?" the Red Lantern asked, feeling a mix of despair and hope.

"Yes. Listen to Ilana. Release Drusa"

Razer felt his relief wash over him like a waterfall. His rage flowed right out of him and he felt his knees might give in. He thanked all the gods worshiped on Volkreg and whatever gods may be out there. He refocused his attention on Drusa, the hopeful and scared Drusa he held by the neck. He let her go.

"What do we do with her now?" he asked Ilana.

"What else?" she answered his question with another question and came close. Ilana raised her fist and jabbed Drusa across the chin. She spun around comically and fell on her face.

"Ha, I never could do that when I had an organic body" Ilana commented looking at her fist.

Razer smiled faintly at her and then went to the main console.

"Are you sure you are alright?" he asked the manifested green globe of light that was essentially Aya's face when in her ship form.

"I am operating at full capacity"

"Do you remember everything that went on..."

"I've experienced everything in some form or another. The Interceptor's memory banks can assist me in filling in the blanks".

"That's good..." Razer muttered, though he didn't necessarily want Aya to retrieve the memories of the past few days.

Certain things had been said that were better left unsaid. But he couldn't think about that now. They had three big problems on their hands. The unconscious bodies of Drusa, Atrocitus and Ziliuz Zox.

Make that two unconscious bodies, since Zilius Zox was coming out of it. The little globular man massaged his rather enormous forehead as he pushed himelf off the floor of the interceptor. When he saw Razer, he instantly assumed a defensive stance.

"Curse you Razer. How did you get on board!?" Zilius Zox asked outraged.

"I was already on board, Zox. If you hadn't been to busy with brown nosing, you might've noticed"

"I will destroy you for this offense" Zox shouted, his ring lighting up.

"I wouldn't do that Red Lantern Zilius Zox", Aya warned. "A message has already been dispatched to the Green Lantern Corps. They will be here momentarily"

"No!"

"However... I made no mention of _your_ presence"

"You... _didn't_?" Zilius Zox asked, hope creeping up in his voice.

"Aya... what!?" Razer asked, stupefied.

"There is no need for this incident to ruin the peace between Red and Green Lanterns" Aya explained. "We understand your loyalty Zilius Zox, it's a commendable characteristic, but surely an intellectual like yourself can understand that Atrocitus in a science cell suits everybody's interests better"

Zilius Zox pondered the nav-com's words.

"What will you tell Lord Atrocitus?" he asked squinting his eyes.

"You escaped to bring reinforcements" Razer offered, understanding where Aya was going with this.

"Yes... yes... reinforcements. I... I think I'll do that now. And if you're still here by the time we return, you will all be dead!"

"Seems fair"

"And if you're not... well... the Red Lanterns are doing much better under _my_ care any way"

"Of course" Razer and Aya said at the same time.

Zilius Zox seemed content with that settlement. He went over to his Lords' unconscious form, and kicked him once in the shins for good measure. And with that, Zox was off, going back to get... _reinforcements._


	5. Now I've got you

"I better put these two in the brig" Razer mumbled, picking up the unconscious bodies of Drusa and Atrocitus with red energy.

Left alone on the bridge, Ilana went to sit in the captain's chair. She leaned in to look closer at the globe of light that represented Aya.

"Ilana, I want to thank you for helping me reform myself" Aya spoke up eventually.

"I need to thank you for helping me break from Drusa's control" she replied leaning back.

"I... I want to tell you that I am sorry I... You can keep that body for yourself if you prefer. I can build another one. One that... does not bear your physical attributes"

"That's alright, I don't mind. You will be back in your own body soon enough"

"Whatever Razer has told you... you do not have to _die_"

"How can I die when I'm already dead? I'm just... _ending_. And every end is a new beginning"

"I'm not sure how to process that..."

"The Razer that Ilana loved is gone. He died that day with her. This Razer is going to keep fighting. He will not stop, ever. If that is the case he needs somebody to love him _and_ fight beside him... and he's lucky that somebody is _you_"

Both AI's remained silent for a long while.

"Sometimes... sometimes I estimate he does not care for me. _At all."_

"Yes" Ilana said smiling. "He can be like that. But at the end of the day, if you want to learn about _love_, there's no better tutor"

Ilana got up from the captain's chair and headed for the brig.

"Where are you going?" Aya asked.

"There's something I have to do before I'm gone" Ilana replied looking over her shoulder. _"One good thing..." _she whispered.

Razer was keeping an eye on the prisoners. Atrocitus had come out of his shock, but Drusa still lay there, in a pile of limbs. Ilana felt rather smug about that. Atrocitus was immobilised by red energy, the red bands of light circling his arms and mouth.

Ilana stared at him in silence. Razer stood guard, occasionally sneaking a glance at her to make sure she was right. She was essentially staring down her executioner. Suddenly she passed through the force field and leaned down next to the fallen Atrocitus. He continued to stare upward, defiantly, despite being tied and gagged. She leaned down and put her right arm to his chest.

Razer tensed up, nervous about what she was planning. She wouldn't kill him, not when she herself stopped him from doing the same to Drusa. Right?

"You have taken _everything_ from me" Ilana spoke softly. "You have taken my life. You have destroyed my love. If I killed you now, nobody would dare tell me that it isn't _justice_"

Razer clenched his fist, ready to drag her away if he needed to, but he desperately wish it wouldn't come to that. Because he didn't want to stop her at all. For a second he thought he spotted a look of fear in Atrocitus' eyes, beneath all the bile and contempt.

Surprisingly, Ilana's hand went from his chest to his face, cupping his cheek. Now Atrocitus looked _really_ scared.

"The problem with that is... you can't defeat hate with more hate"

She leaned in, staring deep into his bloodshot eyes, her face mere inches away from his.

"I forgive you Atrocitus. I forgive you for all that you have done to me. I pray you find your way. I pray you find a reason to stop hating"

Atrocitus stared at her flabbergasted, forgiveness a completely foreign concept to him until then.

"For what it's worth" Ilana said getting up.

For the second time in less than an hour, Razer felt incredibly relieved. Ilana walked out of the cell, smiling at Razer. Her compassion and capacity for forgiveness left him speechless. She had never reminded him more of _his_ Ilana. Somehow reading that revelation in his expression, her smile grew even brighter. Not a word spoken between them, she started to walk back to the bridge.

She stopped mid way. Razer turned around, realising he no longer heard her footsteps.

"Ilana, no!" Aya's voice vibrated through the walls of the ship.

"Initiate CPU memory wipe!" Ilana said quickly.

"No!" Razer shouted and flew straight at her.

She collapsed on the floor, motor control being the first one to be wiped from the robot's form central unit. Razer picked her up and cradled her upper body in his arms.

"Aya?" he called out.

"There is nothing I can do. She severed all ties to the ship's servers" Aya tried to explain.

"Razer..." Ilana whispered. "You finally get to say it..."

"Say what?"

"_Goodbye..._"

Razer squeezed his eyes shut, feeling moisture gathering once again.

"You saved my life. Don't go... You don't have to go"

"Yes I do. I'm not _her_. I'm some idealized version of her you keep in your memories. You need to let go... " she said and whimpered. "Our first kiss... it's _gone_ now"

Razer couldn't help but remember that moment, trying to recall every single detail, making sure that day was never wiped from his personal history like it was happening now with Ilana. Her body shuddered and twitched in his arms.

"The first first time you said you loved me" she murmured, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Again, Razer remembered, basking in the warmth of that memory. Her body twitched again, the blue light of her eyes flickered, preciou memories lining up for an electronic execution.

"The day I _met you..._" she whispered finally.

Razer cried openly now, caught in his own emotional vortex. The light in her eyes grew dimmer, and a serene expression replaced the anguish from before. Her eyes darted in all directions until finally focusing on his face.

"Who are you?" she asked unsure. "Why are you so sad?"

"I... I lost somebody. Somebody that I loved" Razer tried to say between sobs.

"That's no reason. If they loved you back, they wouldn't want you to be sad"

Razer shook his head, clearing the tears from his face. The last thing she saw shouldn't be the pathetic image of him crying.

"You're right" he acknowledged smiling weakly.

She smiled back at him, gasped and said in a neutral robotic voice:

"Memory wipe complete. _Goodbye_"

The Interceptor's robotic form shutdown. The hard light disappeared, leaving only the synthetic components behind.

_Later_

"Razer? We have returned to Oa" Aya announced stepping inside Razer's dark lit room. She found him at his desk, hand intertwined in front of him, head bowed down.

"Thank you Aya" he said and swallowed a lump in his throat.

Aya looked at his turned back and hesitated. He shut down after the passing of the Ilana AI. Retreated to his room and didn't come out even to greet Hal and Kilowog. Aya was left to assure them he was fine, but still hurting. She reclaimed her physical form shortly after that, but now it felt uncomfortable. She couldn't quite place the source of discomfort. It must be what it feels like for humans to move in a house that has been inhabited by somebody else.

"Aya" Razer spoke up, breaking her train of thought.

"Yes?"

"I didn't want to tell you like this but... I do love you"

Aya wanted nothing more than to cross that small expanse of space and hold Razer's hand. But somehow she understood that Razer was not making a declaration. He was stating a fact.

"I'm just going to need some time" he continued.

She nodded, even though he couldn't see her. He was alive and he loved her. That was all that mattered.

"Take as long as you need. I will be here... and I will not let go"

* * *

Scrambled to get this done and to wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day. :) Though the fic itself is kinda of sad. And as one of the reviewers already mentioned, it is inspired by the song "Tonight" by Lykke Li which I listened to non-stop while writing this.


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